Polyamorous vs Polygamous Relationships and How They Differ in Practice

In recent years, non-traditional relationship structures have gained popularity, with more individuals exploring alternatives to monogamy. Among the most commonly discussed are polyamory and open relationships. Though both involve consensual non-monogamy, they have distinct characteristics. In this guide, we’ll delve into the differences between polyamorous vs polygamous,  explore the types of polyamory, and also clarify the confusion between polyamory vs polygamy. We’ll also take a closer look at the different types of open relationships.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory is a relationship style that involves engaging in multiple romantic or sexual relationships simultaneously with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Unlike casual hookups or infidelity, polyamory emphasizes communication, trust, and transparency among all partners. Polyamorous individuals typically see emotional intimacy and deep connections as essential aspects of their relationships.

Polyamory allows for love to be shared among multiple people, often creating a network of relationships that can include both sexual and non-sexual connections. These relationships can range from romantic partnerships to close friendships, and they’re all based on mutual consent and respect.

Types of Polyamory

1. Solo Polyamory: In this type of polyamorous relationship, individuals choose to maintain their independence and autonomy. They may have multiple romantic or sexual partners but don’t feel the need to prioritize any one individual over the others. Solo polyamory often involves living independently and not forming cohabiting, “primary” relationships.

2. Hierarchical Polyamory: This involves relationships where partners are given different levels of importance or priority. For example, a person might have a “primary” partner, who they live with or share financial responsibilities with, and “secondary” or “tertiary” partners who may not have the same level of commitment or intimacy.

3. Non-hierarchical Polyamory: In contrast to hierarchical polyamory, non-hierarchical polyamory sees all relationships as equal. There’s no distinction between primary, secondary, or tertiary partners. Every connection is treated as valid and important, regardless of length or emotional depth.

4. Polyfidelity: This form of polyamory involves a closed group of people who are committed to only engaging with one another. It is an exclusive network of individuals who practice polyamory but are not open to new members entering the group.

What is an Open Relationship?

An open relationship is a type of consensual non-monogamy where a couple agrees to engage in sexual or romantic relationships outside of their partnership. However, unlike polyamory, an open relationship usually focuses on sexual freedom rather than emotional intimacy with others. The central relationship (the couple) remains primary, and any outside encounters are typically understood as either sexual or physical in nature.

There are many variations of open relationships, and the specifics of the arrangement depend on the couple’s preferences and boundaries. Open relationships tend to be less complex emotionally than polyamorous ones, as they often do not involve forming deep romantic bonds outside of the primary partnership.

Types of Open Relationships

1. Swinging: This is one of the most common forms of open relationships. In swinging, couples engage in sexual activities with other couples or individuals, usually as a group. These relationships tend to focus purely on sexual enjoyment and are often practiced in a safe, non-committal environment.

2. Monogamish: This term, popularized by Dan Savage, refers to couples who mostly maintain a monogamous relationship but occasionally engage in sexual activities with others. The key difference between monogamy and being “monogamish” is that the couple allows for sexual encounters outside the relationship under agreed-upon circumstances.

3. Open Marriage: An open marriage is similar to swinging, but the boundaries might be more flexible depending on the couple’s preferences. In an open marriage, the couple may allow each other to have sexual or romantic experiences with others, with varying degrees of exclusivity depending on the arrangement.

Polyamorous vs Open Relationship: Key Differences

Though polyamory and open relationships share some common ground in their non-monogamous nature, the primary difference lies in the emotional depth of the connections involved:

1. Emotional vs. Sexual Connections: Polyamory is often about fostering emotional connections with multiple partners, whereas open relationships tend to focus more on sexual connections outside of a committed couple.

2. Multiple Romantic Partners: In polyamory, individuals typically have multiple romantic partners at the same time. An open relationship, on the other hand, usually involves one primary couple where sexual relationships outside of that bond are permitted, but romantic relationships with others might not be.

3. Complexity: Polyamorous relationships tend to be more complex, as they involve multiple partners and intricate dynamics. Open relationships are usually simpler because the emotional focus is primarily on the original couple, with sexual interactions outside of the relationship being the primary focus.

Polyamorous vs Polygamous: Clarifying the Confusion

It’s important not to confuse polyamory with polygamy. While both terms involve multiple partners, polygamy refers to the practice of having more than one spouse at the same time, typically for religious or cultural reasons. Polygamy is usually hierarchical and involves a formal marriage structure, whereas polyamory is about forming consensual, emotionally fulfilling relationships with multiple people, often without the constraints of marriage.

Conclusion

Whether you’re considering polyamory or an open relationship, it’s essential to understand the differences and find what works best for you and your partners. These relationship structures emphasize consent, communication, and respect for boundaries, making them increasingly popular choices for those looking for alternatives to traditional monogamy.